Well, my wife (Now ex wife) was 2 months pregnant, when she found out she was pregnant she asked me to talk and told me that halfway through our relationship as a couple and half a year before our marriage she cheated on me with her best friend (with whom she currently has no communication).
Currently we have been married for 8 years and she told me that she wanted to confess it because a child was going to be a change in our lives and that she wanted to start it off right in order to be good parents, in her words, it’s for having a clean beginning.
I obviously asked her the most logical question of all, I asked her if that child was really mine, knowing that if she cheated once she could’ve done it more times, for some reason that made her cry, I was totally angry with her but I didn’t want to hurt her, however I didn’t want to comfort her either, so I left the room and went to another side of the house to think about my action plan.
Hours later I was sitting in the sofa, during those hours I did not go to see her at any time, I did not want to see her face, I heard her calling me, almost screaming, I approached her and she was in the bathroom bleeding quite a bit down there, we went to the hospital and apparently she had a miscarriage, according to the doctor it was not something forced nor product of some medication, maybe it was an emotional shock (something that already happened to her before)
While she was sitting on her stretcher waiting to be discharged, she asked me what I thought about all this, I just said that maybe it was for the best since a child would make more difficult the divorce, words that made her cry again.
I’m not going to lie, I love her, but at the same time I don’t trust her anymore, if she could hide a “slip” for almost a decade I don’t know what else she could have hidden, maybe this is just the tip of the iceberg, the only thing that haunts me now is to know if that son was mine or not, according to her she has been faithful to me since then and she never spoke or saw any man other than me (which I did not ask her to do) but obviously I also have to question that.
Our relationship was quite good, but now I also have to doubt if every good deed she did for me was out of true love or it was just guilt for cheating on me, anyway I’m already planning a divorce, thank God that son wasn’t born because otherwise everything would have been more complicated.
As I said, I love her, but I can’t live knowing every action she made for me could be lie, and also I’m not forgiving a cheating.
Now, I want to clarify one thing, in my country there is something called “Divorce by mutual agreement” which is a process that lasts less than a month, which you will not go to any trial, just a signing of papers by both parties, it is made clear that we both want to divorce, the following conditions exist to be able to carry out this type of procedure:
1)Both must agree.
2) That 2 years or more have passed since their marriage. (We have been married for 8 years)
3) If there are minor or older children with disabilities, everything related to parental authority, food, tenure, visits, guardianship must be resolved. (We do not have children)
4) Not having property in common. (We have separate finances)
Well, two days later she called me and told me to go to my father-in-law’s house (where she is since her father picked her up from the hospital that night) to talk, I went with the papers that my lawyer had given me and that she had to sign in case I could convince her.
I arrived, she was with her father, a 70-year-old man, she has not been related to her mother or siblings since she started university because her parents are separated and she was the only one who wanted to stay with her father, so he is the the only one with her.
We talked about everything that happened and after a few hours she ended up signing all the papers, she asked me if I hated her, I told her that I don’t feel the same love for her, but that I felt respect for her courage to confess something that she could have kept for her, I wished her good luck and told her to recover, that I love her but that I can’t trust her anymore and that the healthiest thing is for each one to get ahead on their own, we gave each other one last hug and kiss and I told her I would take care of everything and that if I needed anything I would let her know.
Now I just have to take the papers to be legalized by a notary and then take it to the civil registries for the registration of the divorce in the civil registry.
Although I’m happy that this was solved the easy way, I still have a pain in my chest from everything that happened, I’ll start therapy next week and I’ll get through it, I guess.
For those who wonder why I didn’t consent to this infidelity even though it was almost a decade ago: I grew up in a family where both parents were unfaithful to each other and forgave each other, I ended up leaving that house as soon as I could because the Discussions taking everything past in face were an everyday thing.
I don’t want to go through the same thing or make my future children have to hear the same thing that I heard.
Now a week has passed, I have gone to the psychologist and I feel that I am improving, the truth is that I am very hopeful about the future but I feel that I will have to be more careful in my next relationship, but at the same time I do not want to mistrust my new partner, The truth is that this is very difficult, but I just have to move on.
Ah, yes, I already presented the notarized and signed divorce papers to public records, my status should change to divorced in less than two weeks, I don’t know how my ex-wife is doing, I haven’t called her, but at least she has her dad to support her.
TDLR: I’m divorcing my wife after she confesed she cheated on me almost a decade ago.
