When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I’d met a true gentleman — roses, a sweet gift, charming conversation. He checked all the boxes. So when he texted the next day, I expected a cute follow-up… not a bill.
My best friend Mia set us up, insisting he was perfect. “Total gentleman!” she’d said. Even Chris, her boyfriend, vouched for him. I was skeptical, but the photo she sent convinced me to give it a shot.
We met at a riverside Italian place. Eric showed up with a professional bouquet and a personalized keychain with my initial — a thoughtful touch. Throughout dinner, he was attentive, polite, and full of charm. He paid the bill firmly, saying, “A man pays on the first date,” and I left thinking it was one of the best first dates I’d had.
Then came the morning text.
Expecting a sweet message, I opened an invoice. A real one. It detailed each “service” he provided — flowers, the gift, conversation — and assigned them bizarre “payment” expectations: a hug, holding hands, another date, and so on.
At the bottom:
“Payment expected in full. No refunds. Failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).”
I was stunned.
I sent it to Mia, who immediately shared it with Chris. His response? Laughter — followed by revenge. He created a mock invoice for Eric:
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Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block
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Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman: Self-reflection
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Letting You Sit at Her Table: Apology to womankind
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Not Exposing You Online: You’re welcome
We sent it. Eric was furious. He accused us of being immature and called Chris a bad friend. I replied with a thumbs-up and blocked him.
Later, Mia called, still laughing. “I really thought he was normal.”
“Honestly,” I said, “it was worth it for the story.”
And it was. I even kept the keychain — not as a memento of Eric, but as a trophy from the weirdest date of my life.
Dating rule #1: If he insists on paying, make sure he’s not sending you a bill after.
