I refused to give my ex-wife money for food for her and our kids when I discovered her true intentions

A man shared his story on the “AITA” subreddit and explained that he and his ex-wife had divorced when their children, now 15 and 12, were young. At the beginning, they shared 50/50 custody, but then his ex-wife remarried and he stopped providing spousal support.

Around the time he posted the story, his ex’s husband left her. But he let her have the house the two lived in.

The situation took an unexpected turn when his ex called him recently, asking for food. She explained that she ran out of money and couldn’t provide food for herself and the children. OP agreed to consider her request, telling her he would call her back.

After discussing with his live-in girlfriend, OP armed himself with a freezer full of elk, venison, wild hog, and a pantry stocked with beef, pork, and chicken which he took to his ex. The situation escalated when he called his ex-wife and offered her a sizable haul of groceries.

She refused to accept it and asked for cash instead, saying she would be ordering food herself. OP, however, said he brought her and the kids two weeks worth of food and giving her cash for takeout was off the table.

This made his ex-wife angry. She started calling him names and claimed the food he brought her was ‘scraps.’ He explained that what he brought was an abundance of frozen meat, canned vegetables, and fresh garden produce, as well as unopened bags of pasta and rice.

Driven by his children’s well-being, particularly considering their fondness for hunting and his older son’s cooking skills. OP stood firm. Convinced he was meeting his ex’s needs, he directed his girlfriend not to pack anything.

After contacting his kids and assuring them he would take care of any hunger concerns they had, they said that food was available it just required preparation. “Both of them also said that if I was willing to spare some of the elk and hog roasts they would take them. I laughed and said I would take them over later,” OP wrote.

This, however, put OP in trouble as his ex accused him of forcing her into the role of a “housewife” while allegedly neglecting their kids’ food needs.

Some members of the family were convinced that he should have give her the money and sided with his ex, but OP stood firm in his conviction.

As expected, almost all of the comments his post gathered read that he was NTA.

“Definitely NTA- there’s no reason to be giving her money. She asked for help with food you were readily willing to give her some of your food! But she doesn’t want/need help with food,” one person wrote.

“She wants/needs money. With 50/50 custody you shouldn’t have to give her any money. If she absolutely needs it she will have to apply for government benefits. She’s being ridiculous,” the person concluded.

“NTA. You used the same approach I use with panhandlers. I will buy food for them and give them the food, but I will not give them money. And it’s quite disappointing how few people will let me buy them a sandwich or a meal when they want money,” added another commenter.

“NTA, I’m confused on why she thinks preparing food for her kids is being manipulated into being a housewife… it’s called being a normal parent. Clearly, she’s nobody’s housewife anyways,” a third expressed.