Rachel’s daughter Amy has cut off all contact with her since turning 18, excluding her from major life events like graduation and engagement. Now, years later, Amy has two boys and reached out asking Rachel to babysit on Saturdays. Rachel refused, citing the broken relationship and hurt feelings. Amy then called her selfish and blocked her everywhere.
Advice and Thoughts:
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You Have Every Right to Set Boundaries:
After being excluded and hurt, it’s understandable to protect yourself emotionally. You’re not obligated to care for your grandchildren, especially if it feels unfair or one-sided. -
Try to Understand Why Amy Distanced Herself:
There might be underlying reasons—misunderstandings, insecurities, or external influences—that caused her to cut ties. If possible, gently explore these issues when emotions aren’t running high. -
Open Communication Is Key:
Express honestly how much you love her and how painful it was to be excluded. Share what you would need to rebuild trust. Sometimes wounds need time and honest dialogue to heal. -
Consider the Grandchildren’s Well-being:
While it’s important to care for yourself, remember the children aren’t responsible for their mother’s decisions. If possible, find ways to build a relationship with them separately from the conflict with Amy. -
Involve Other Family Members if Helpful:
Family dynamics are complex. If other relatives are supportive, their involvement might help mediate or improve relationships.
