Carla had raised her son Daniel on her own since he was five. She had juggled two jobs, skipped vacations, and put off her own dreams just to give him a good life. Now 21, Daniel was in college, still living at home—and lately, becoming increasingly demanding.
One evening, he stormed into the kitchen.
“I’m done, Mom. If you don’t buy me a car, I’m moving in with Dad,” he declared.
The words hit her like cold water. It wasn’t the first time Daniel had used his father as a bargaining chip. Ever since the divorce, he had learned that saying “Dad would” or “Dad can” was a shortcut to getting what he wanted. But this time, Carla didn’t answer right away.
Instead, she quietly studied him. Was this about a car—or something deeper? Pressure from friends? A need for independence? Or just a sense of entitlement growing roots?
Later that night, she called Daniel’s father. The conversation wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
“Is this something you’ve discussed with him?” she asked.
“No,” the father replied, surprised. “I don’t have the means to buy him a car either.”
That cleared one thing up—Daniel had used the idea as leverage, nothing more.
The next day, Carla sat her son down. She didn’t yell or scold. She simply talked.
“I love you, Daniel. I want to support you. But using threats to get what you want isn’t okay. Let’s talk about real solutions. Maybe we look into used cars. Or car-sharing. Or even public transport for a while.”
Daniel was silent at first, then nodded.
“It’s not just about the car,” he admitted. “I guess I just want to feel more… grown up.”
That was the root. Not a car. Not his dad. But a young man struggling with adulthood.
In the end, they didn’t buy a new car. But they did make a plan. Daniel would save part of his earnings from a part-time job, and Carla agreed to match his savings when the time came. Boundaries were set. Respect was reestablished.
And for the first time in a long while, Carla felt like they were moving forward—not as pawns on a chessboard, but as a family.
Moral of the story: Communication, boundaries, and understanding hidden emotions are key when parenting adult children. Not every demand is about what it seems—and sometimes, the answer isn’t “yes” or “no,” but a conversation.
